Funniest Lawyer Stories
FUNNIEST LAWYER STORIES EVER
There are possibly a few lawyers left with an actual sense of humor. While I only do injury law, and never criminal law, dealing with the accused apparently results in much funnier stories to tell. Here are some of the best ones I have heard or seen:
-When using your friend’s urine to pass a drug test, make sure your friend is not on drugs.
-When you successfully evade police on foot, you really have not accomplished much if you have left your girlfriend and your wallet in your crashed car.
-Planning to kill the witness on the prison telephone is not a smart idea. (The sign above your head indicating that “all calls are recorded” might be a tip off).
-When trying repeatedly to break a plexiglass window with a brick, try not to allow it to ricochet into your partner’s teeth.
-When pulling out an ATM machine through a wall with a tow truck, make sure it does not have a hand drawn sign indicating “out of service” on the empty machine.
-If a female is found with drugs inserted into her anatomy, saying “It’s not mine, I must have sat on it” is less than believable.
-When asking to get out of jail so you can have surgery to donate your organ to your dying mother, you might not want to go with your donating your heart. (Try a kidney).
-While appearing in court, try not to wear the exact handmade “Do Mo’ Drugs” shirt you also wore while robbing the bank on 4 security cameras.
-Sucking on a penny, drinking coffee, etc. does not alleviate the alcohol concentration in your breath nor blood.
-When drugs are removed from your pockets, taking them from the cop’s hood and throwing them in the bushes--all while on dashcam--is not going to prove helpful.
-When choosing a friend that you say will swear he was “with you at time of the robbery so you could not have been there” try not to choose a backup singer who was on stage at a videoed concert 300 miles away at the very time. (Or in jail).
-When you break into a car, it would be better if it was not the judge’s daughter’s vehicle.
-When you use stolen cards to pay bills, you might not want to make your home utility bill one of them.
-Finally, when you are a male and you need to pass a drug test, using your girlfriend’s urine is not a fantastic idea. However, she was pregnant, so congratulations!
Have you heard or seen any funny ones?
Mr. Peel seeks justice for those injured in tractor trailer and car accidents, medical malpractice, and disability. He often addresses churches, clubs and groups without charge. Mr. Peel may be reached through PeelLawFirm.comwherein other articles may be accessed.