There are plenty of articles out there that will tell you how to save money and get ahead. And they can basically be summed up with the idea that you should “spend less than you make.”
It’s a little bit like losing weight, everyone knows to eat less and move more. The issue is the discipline to do it.
I think it’s the same thing with money. We all know that you must make more than you spend to get ahead. But if you’re determined to go broke then this tongue in cheek article will teach you how to go broke even faster.
- Borrowing money. The whole concept of getting a loan to purchase something is based on impatience. You do not have the money to buy the item so you will take the money from someone else and pay them back interest so you can have the item now. This may be understandable with purchasing a home. But the payday loan places and rent to own places only cater to the poor working folks and frankly help keep them poor.
- Gambling. It is astonishing to me people who do not seem to understand that you cannot win long-term with gambling. If you could, the casinos and lotteries should be out of business.
- Always buy new. If you always buy something new, you always will pay the highest possible price. This is most clearly seen in vehicles that lose 20 to 40% of their value in the first couple years. So if you spend $40,000 on a car, two years later it may be worth only $27,000.
- Loan money freely. If you loan money to friends and family members, especially those who could not get a bank loan because their credit is so bad, you will find out why their credit is so bad.
- Only ask about payments, not interest. It amazes me that some people have no idea what amount of interest that they’re paying on the car note or credit card. If you’re only interested in payments, you do not understand the way money is bought and sold.
- Smoke, drink and use drugs. These types of habits not only suck purchase money from your pocket, but they shorten your work life and cause absences for sickness and recovery. With the advent of drug testing, and the social stigma against smoking, fewer and fewer people are willing to hire people with those addictions. The inability to find or keep good jobs will certainly cause you to go broke faster.
- Pay high storage fees. Storing certain things, such as a rare antique car, can make sense. But if you look at an average storage locker, it’s pretty much just junk. Generally contents of storage lockers are sold for a few hundred dollars. This means paying $75 a month for four years was a colossal waste of money to store a few hundred dollars worth of things, most of which are easily replaced at a yard sale.
- Finance boats motorcycles and ATVs. These toys tend to be bought with the best of intentions. And in the end, you work so much overtime trying to pay the notes that they wind up either repossessed or sitting in storage unused. When they are finally sold, they seldom bring even the payoff.
- Drop out of high school, do some crime and have babies out of wedlock. This is the surest way to guarantee poverty according to the government statistics. Heartbreakingly, single-parent households, led by high school dropouts are virtually guaranteed poverty. And having babies with multiple different folks, none of whom can afford to pay any child support, guarantees a life on the government dole that prevents any upward movement socioeconomically. If you do get any cash then fines, bonds, criminal lawyers and child support will tend to suck it away.
- Buy expensive gifts. In addition to loaning money to people who are not even close to credit worthy, you can go broke quickly buying expensive gifts and jewelry for a love interest in your life. Or better yet, just hand them your credit card. That way they can pick out whatever they want. Chances are good that the break up will occur before the bill arrives.
There are other ways to go broke quickly, but I hope this list is helpful as a tongue-in-cheek reminder of how to save money and make better decisions.
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