How To Drive In Memphis, TN

June 23, 2015
How To Drive In Memphis, TN
  • Mississippi and Arkansas residents do not feel they must follow Memphis traffic rules. It is unknown if they realize they are even in Tennessee.
  • The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
  • The minimum acceptable speed on I-240 is 80 mph. On I-40 and I-55, get into the right lane if you’re only going to go ten miles over the posted speed limit as you are slowing everyone down.
  • Memphis has its own version of traffic rules but no one understands what the HOV lanes are really designed for.
  • If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you may be rear-ended, honked at, cussed out, and possibly shot.
  • But you NEVER honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It’s another offense that can get you shot.
  • Road construction is permanent and continuous.
  • Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day’s driving a bit more exciting.
  • Generally, city roads, including the main streets, have more potholes than most dirt roads in the countryside. The right lane of Poplar has big drains that are used as a GM test track for car suspensions.
  • Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, cooler lids, boxes and crows.
  • Be aware that there is a huge difference between North Parkway East, East Parkway, East Parkway South, South Parkway, and South Parkway West. Do not be surprised when these streets intersect.
  • If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”. (Never mind, no one knows what a turn signal is.)
  • Highway 14 is Austin Peay. But it’s also Jackson Avenue. Many street names change inexplicably.
  • Downtown Memphis is comprised of a couple of one-way streets. For some, the only way to get out of downtown Memphis is to turn around and start over when you reach Arkansas or Mississippi.
  • I-240 and I-55 is called “malfunction Junction.”
  • Where the construction is on Canada Road and I-40 I believe would be most appropriately be known as “the east parking lot.”

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