January 2, 2019

Grief Is A Strange Process

Around the holidays there is a bit of a paradox. Everyone is excited for kids and grandkids to open presents. But it’s also a time where widows miss their husbands.  Grief is a strange process.  Having buried quite a few folks most notably both my parents, I feel sure that my experiences have been shared by you or those close to you.

At my father’s funeral, a gentleman told me that I would experience some odd things. He predicted that I would break down crying and feel utter despair at random times. He warned that these times would not be easily foreseen.  He said that they would come and go without warning. He could not have been more right.

For quite a bit of time after I lost each parent, I would notice that I would just weep for no particular reason. Or that I would be driving and begin to feel this utter sense of loss. It sometimes happened just looking at the sunset or reading my mail. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to how or when it hit or how long it lasted.[they were like waves that would just hit me.]

Ultimately, these feelings did dissipate to a great degree with time. But that doesn’t mean that the hurt goes entirely away. And I think the Christmas season brings that home for many people.

Maybe a New Year’s resolution should be for us to reach out to those who might be lonely starting this new year. After someone passes away, the survivors spend a whole year recognizing various “firsts” that come and go. The first Mother’s Day, the first Father’s Day, the first Christmas, the first birthday without this person.

If you find yourself a couple years out from the loss, and still in utter despair, please get help. Your serotonin level monitors your feeling of well-being and your energy levels to get things done. Once it is too low, for whatever reason, you often need some artificially increased.  Much like a diabetic needs insulin to make up for what the pancreas is not creating, so someone who is depressed following a significant loss might need a helping hand to restore a healthy outlook on their lives.

As someone who handles wrongful death cases on a regular basis, I frequently sit across from a family who has lost a love one in a tragic accident. There really are no words. There is no substitute to just coming alongside them and being there as they grieve.

Mr. Peel seeks justice for those injured in motorcycle, truck and car accidents, disability and medical malpractice. He often addresses churches, clubs and groups without charge. Mr. Peel may be reached through wherein other articles may be accessed.

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